Stardust Global Ventures

This morning we woke up to an interesting email. It was very specifically about our relationship and asked a question that caused us to consider the ramifications of having such a public love affair. Here is the email, with names removed to not put ‘him/her’ on the spot:

I’ve gotta ask. After seeing Ken’s tweets for a while now and wondering for well over a year (from blog posts) – how are you two doing this “love thing” and keeping it up? Whatever it is that you two a drinking, I want some, seriously. Advice most appreciated.

Sheryl’s reply – My answer is complicated. It’s very difficult, but it’s part of who we are. Ken and I are the kind of people who quite honestly enjoy being at the center of attention. I remember a friend making a comment to me at VONx. He said, “You love all this attention, don’t you?” I told him I did. It’s
the truth.

Of course, being so public, making comments to one another in a public forum has it’s drawbacks. People get to see a great deal more than is typical. But something I’d really like to speak to is a lesson learned after failed relationships and with age.

We are not young ‘whippersnappers’ involved in a relationship. We don’t have grandiose expectations, but what we do have is an appreciation of how easy it is to fall prey to one of the most common of all undermining situations. Failing to show each other our appreciation and taking for granted the other’s presence.

I am not sure how many people who read our blog are aware, I’ve been married twice before. My first marriage lasted 17 years and culminated in 2 kids, my youngest who is 17, and my oldest who is 26. That marriage ended because we were both too young to appreciate the kind of work a relationship really takes and we took the other for granted. Second marriage came along and I made so many mistakes, failing to acknowledge I was an individual with dreams, hopes, and wishes. I wanted so much to fit the mold someone else was looking for, I paid no attention to what I was giving up, not the least of which was my country.

Then I met Ken. Ken has his own baggage and he can speak for himself on that. It’s not my place to explain who Ken is, which is an important point to be made. I take Ken as he is complete with his flaws. I know what they are, better than anyone, largely because part of our agreement is that we not hold back all the garbage. Life has gotten much too short at our ages. It’s slipping past at an exponential rate and there isn’t time to be wasted on games and hiding histories. I expect things from Ken. But it’s not a one way street. He expects things from me. We agree to everyday give all we have, even on the days we’d rather not.

Public loving has huge drawbacks, if you’re a private person. We aren’t. We do keep some things private, but we make so many mistakes in full public view, we’ve had to learn to be openly forgiving as well. There were many times early on that if I had been able to not love Ken I would have turned tail and run away. As this relationship has evolved I’ve realized, like it or not, wish to or not, I really do love this incredible man. He’s not perfect. I’m glad.

So, in answer to the question of what we’re drinking and can we share that secret, probably not. Everyone has to come to it on their own and until ready, advice asked for or not is rarely taken. If it were that simple we’d all sign up for the class early on, probably. (‘cept us stubborn ones)

I am under no illusions we have a road paved in gold, edged in roses and rainbows. That’s what we believe when we’re young and invincible. I’m far too old to worry about all that. I just want someone to share mid life dreams with, someone I can lean on when things are difficult and someone I can prop up, too. Ken’s pretty easy to prop up. And he looks good on my shoulder.

Ken’s reply – My answer is complicated too. The truth is that the loving relationship Sheryl and I share is very complex. Like Sheryl, I too am comfortable in the spotlight in many ways. It’s part of who we are, so being on stage, whether at a conference, or simply highly visible online, is simply part of who we are. And while I know some people were shocked, I loved being in a position to propose to Sheryl live on stage at VON with the event streaming live on video.

We aren’t kids. We’re both fully grown and mature adults. Sheryl mentioned her past. I was married for 35 years. Neither of us is in this with blinders on. And I bring plenty of baggage and history with me. Yet, Sheryl and I are committed to doing whatever it takes to work together as we protect and nurture our love, our friendship and our partnership. We do this every day. It’s an active part of who we are.

We’ve committed to each other. While we know full well that neither of us is perfect, we do believe we’re perfect for one another. Is it work? Heck, yes. Sometimes it’s tons of work. But Sheryl is worth it. I’m worth it. We are worth it. We know that we have a lifetime of work ahead, but it’s work together and we know the end result will be a lifetime of love and devotion sharing every day together.

We share of ourselves in an uncommon way. We’ve talked a great deal about our hyperconnected life. Some people find that odd, but for us, it’s an extension of our commitment to each other, a way to use the tools we love, and something we believe will be cpart of everyday life in the near future. We also share an open honesty that is more than either of us really had in the past. We share passwords for everything, read each others’ email, swap Blackberry’s and share everything. If you talk to me, don’t tell me something you don’t want Sheryl to know, because I won’t keep secrets from her. Ok, birthday and Christmas presents are different. But in more ways than we can really explain, we are one soul, one heart, one life together.

We don’t take one another for granted in any way. Sheryl is the greatest treasure of my life. I’m proud to be her man. I look forward to being her proud husband. I appreciate all she does. I value her above any other person I’ve ever known. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. How could I not shout that from the rooftops? And while our online friends see our love notes, blown kisses and affection openly (Yes, we’ve been told we’re gooey), it doesn’t end there. We hold hands and cling together in public. We kiss in parking lots, grocery store aisles, and anywhere we happen to be.

At 55, I have Sheryl. Many of you have seen her pictures. I certainly take a few. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Her presence makes my heart race. Her touch, just a simple touch on the arm, makes my breath catch. She is breathtaking and a divine goddess to me. I love her with a depth and breadth I couldn’t even have believed myself capable of before knowing her.

When you find that one great love of a lifetime, and you believe with everything you are that you have more than you ever dreamed possible, your life changes. Like Sheryl said, we aren’t young or invincible. And we  know it. We know one of the best things we can do for us, is to actively keep our love alive in every way, large and small, that presents itself.

Our loving relationship is part of who we are. It’s part of our identity – as individuals, as a couple and for our business. To not openly share what we think and feel with the world would be like hiding our head in the sand.

Technorati Tags: sheryl breuker, ken camp