Stardust Global Ventures

I learned some interesting things this morning while sitting in on a conference call where I actually had some thoughts and opinions. It wasn’t a very nice observation, but a valuable lesson, nonetheless.

I was on a call with a variety of men, up to 17 different men at various times. As the lone female voice I learned how difficult it is to be heard when mens voices are louder. I learned how easy it is to be overlooked by a group of intelligent men who are larger than life, used to scrapping and vying for center stage. I learned that even when I tried to say something, frequently my points were not taken seriously or merely overlooked. Why?

Why is maybe not as simple to conclude as it might seem. It could be because I am a female and not as used to asserting myself. It could be lack of experience. it could be so many things but my thoughts are a little less clear. I really suspect it’s because of something very simple, something we learn at a much younger age and pay little attention to.

When we’re kids we gravitate to our same sex. We learn to interact with our ‘own kind’, before we learn to interact with the opposite sex. When we do start interacting with the opposite sex we do it in very different ways. Men pay attention to women in the initial for how they look, or how they move. Women do much the same. By the time we start hearing each other, we’ve already established ourselves as interesting, not because we had anything at all to say, but because we are attracted on some other level. Which means, ultimately, we don’t have to really hear the other person at all. With same sex relationships, it is far more important to have something to say and we learn much younger how to speak to that group and be heard.

This morning Ken and I were sitting on a call that initially was discussing the iPhone versus a variety of Nokia devices. I caught a few comments and forced my way into the conversation, quickly making a point and backing out.

After that topic wore itself out we moved on to game piracy, a topic I actually know something about and have interest in. However on that particular topic I tried and tried to get involved in the conversation and couldn’t make any headway at all.

I could say it was because I’m a woman. Maybe it was. I could say it was because the men were all so passionate about it, and maybe that is true as well. What I think, honestly, I wasn’t loud enough. I don’t speak to a GROUP of men in a way that they can hear. My points, while maybe of value, couldn’t be seen or heard because the men had become more raucous and energized. I wasn’t dynamic or forceful enough.

I realized with this how difficult it is for women to be seen as important in the world of VoIP and technology. Oh, certainly many of them are eye candy, but how many are taken seriously? How many are truly viewed as players in this world dominated by men? I’m not talking about the many PR women. Those women are accepted, but they aren’t seen as needing to have anything to say in the industry. They are viewed as eye candy and that is frequently why they are young and gorgeous.

Ken knew I was disturbed and suggested I offer myself as a guest host once a month. He did that having received a letter from our host about how he wanted to diversify and get other people to occasionally share in hosting of his show. I had a couple of thoughts, neither made me happy and are probably just sour grapes in all honesty.

First, I wasn’t sent the letter requesting friends to offer their services as host, and yet, of the two of us, I am the one in attendance on these calls most frequently. Over looked? Maybe. Non existent? Who knows.

Second, I realized after this mornings call, I don’t have the pull needed to gain an audience or enough female friends to really give credence to why women are actually valuable in this male dominated industry. That annoyed me, but I can’t change it overnight. That requires time and something I may not actually see in my life online anytime soon.

In summary, I guess this is rather muddled and not succinct enough to make a statement anyone of any importance will read. Now…I am making a judgment and it may not be valid because who am I to say that someone reading my post is less valuable than someone I want to read it? Still, I think we have a long way to go before women truly have a foothold in the VoIP industry and tech sector in any real way, other than as booth babes, or figure heads. It’s not a very nice sentiment, but it is my opinion. I’m probably far too new to this world to be viewed as anything other than Ken’s woman, someone who will be tolerated, and when the arguments are calm, and numbers low, allowed to be a part of things. And who am I to say they should do anything else? What recommends me as someone of any value in this industry? I’m just a woman seriously interested in learning something that a year ago I knew less about than I do today.

Vive la Différence!

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